Wednesday, May 14, 2008

auras, silverware&paper towels.


"aint no three sheeters in here, but its a couple twos" - forty.

Man you ever walking around Wal-Mart or Target and just randomly see a baaaaaaaad (meaning good for my non-blacks) female come into your presence. A mans first impression is to analyze quickly and in a timely manner, because in times like this, time is of the essence. So some men look at womans bodies first and some look at faces. But in my journeys, I like to look at the overall girl and examine her aura. Yes-aura! Like Dave Chappelle sketch comedy, when Charlie Murphy met Rick James for the first time. Some girls actually have that aura and they come in different colors and scents. According to the color, its a good chance what type of female they are. For instance, if you see a deep purple glow around a female that are usually a sexual deviant and give off extreme sexual tension when you come to chill with them. Now in my short life I have only seen three colors. Purple, which I already explained, green and yellow. Green aura usually means the girl is high maintenance and only sees green in her future and only wants it. I stay away from green no matter how sweet the fruit looks. Now as far as yellow goes, these girls usually are sweet and adorable. I like to meet these types but usually just end up being friends. Now as far as auras go, you can only determine it when you first meet them (so don't come up to me asking me what aura you are!).
Another system I created was the knife and fork chicks. No they are not the best looking women who can cook and they are not the chicks who will stab you for doing something wrong. They are the type of women who look delicious, literally so you can eat them with a knife and fork ( and if they too juicy you got to pull out your spoon!) Now knife and fork chicks can range from 8s to straight dimes. To be a knife and fork chick you got to have three things. A seductive frame, mean shoe game and the walk of an angel. All three compliment each other, so its necessary to have all three. The good thing about a knife and fork chick is that you don't HAVE to be the best looking out the bunch, nor the classiest, but in some mens eyes they would eat you like a steak dinner.
The last system was inspired by a Bounty commercial. In the commercial, a father and son spill something on the floor. Before cleaning it, they analyze if they want to use three or four sheets to clean it up. Mom quickly comes in and cleans it with one. My system is a little different from theres because the more the better. When seeing some females you just want to "take care" of them all night long and that would demand three sheets. And if she a good,typical fuck that would require two sheets and one sheeter is needed if you just want to test the waters with a female. The legendary four sheeter should only be used if you are ready to get the girl preggo ASAP. I try not to jinx myself, so I don't even let those words come out my mouth. Well with that in mind, fellas and ladies jus don't make the screwface when I say some wild shit.

i-n.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Rihanna is B-A-D!





no homo.

lipstank said...

good blog!