Friday, June 19, 2009

breakup season.

"the summer is about to get hot" - Hov





Its getting hot. I mean really hot. Like two showers a day minimum hot and people's patience levels lower causing heated arguments all the time. The other day I seen two elderly ladies about to wreck on the bus, but thats a whole 'nother story. Some of these arguments are by relatives, peers, amigos & neighbors. But one set stands out the most in my eyes during this heated quarter of the year - couples!

It seems as soon as the Sun starts to rise for more than usual during the summer, couples die out left and right. Now to my knowledge, the only time you can tell a person's TRUE side is when they have came across an unconceivable amount of money or when stressed. When stressed, the blunt-i-don't-give-a-fuck side always seems to pop out. And in a relationship, as soon as you get pissed and that Sun starts beaming on you. All hell can break loose in your mind. You can feel as though the only way to get rid of this stress and irritablity is through change.

So whats the most logical choice of change for someone. Switching jobs? Not in this recession. Finding a new place? Not in this recession. Breaking up with the one that you love, but feel like you two are no longer good for each other? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, yes! The heat is a motherfucka man. And its more than just the temperature, its the things that go along with it. The showing of more skin which leads to seduction, the nightlife weather is GREAT, cookouts everywhere and plus who wants to be held back in the summer anyways. You want to travel with your crew and not have to worry about checking in with the "loved one." The summer is hot, well its getting hot. Drink a bottle of water, margarita, brew, wine cooler, whatever moves you and chill OUT!

In the end, theres nothing you can do to stop this monster. No one is immune to it, no one can hide from it except the relationships that are real and have been through some turmoil already. If you want to marry him/her, make it through a DMV summer together first.

i-n.

PS - once it get cold again, you going to go right back to where you was.lol

Saturday, April 4, 2009

25 things to do every single day.

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day, and while you walk, smile.
It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God (or to your higher power or meditate) about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement,
' My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________ '

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that
is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan
salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires,
issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a
college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life is not fair, but it is still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument.
Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it will not spoil the present.

14. Don ' t compare your life to others. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ' In five
years, will this matter? '

17. Forgive everyone for everything.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. GOD (depending on your beliefs) heals everything - but you have to ask Him (translate to your religion).

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night, before you go to bed complete the following statements:
I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings.
You will be smiling before you know it.

Friday, March 20, 2009

10 Ways to Ruin Your Car.




1. Not Using The Parking Brake

It’s a little pedal near your left leg, or a lever on your right. Yes, that mysterious device that you’ve never used is actually valuable. When you park on an incline, or even on fairly steady ground, without using the parking brake, you’re putting all of the stress of the car on your transmission. The only thing inside that
transmission holding your car steady is a little pin called a parking pawl. By using the parking brake, you lock up the non-drive wheels as well as the drive wheels and take the stress off of the transmission. It’ll add years of life to your cars
transmission. Just remember to disengage it before you start driving again.

2. Not Coming To A Complete Stop Before Shifting

So you’rein a rush, and you pull out of a parking space and shift into drive while
the car is still coasting backwards. You’ve just added months of wear to your
transmission in seconds. Inside your transmission is a complex set of gears, when you shift without stopping like that, you’re asking those gears to work as your brakes, which puts an amazing amount of stress on such a small area. You can also damage your drive shafts, the things that send power to the wheels, by shifting that way. After a while, it’ll lead to sloppy suspension handling, and a worn out
transmission.

3. Riding The Brakes Down A Hill

If you are driving on a hill that goes on for a while, you’ll want to avoid riding the brake the whole time. Alternate between braking and letting off the brake so you don’t heat up and wear out your brake pads. It’s a common mistake, because it feels like the safest way to maneuver down a hill, but if the hill is sufficiently long, you can end up almost totally wearing out your pads, since as they heat up, they wear faster.

4. Forgetting To Change The Oil

You need to change your oil every 5,000 miles at the most. That’s really all there is to it. I actually read a blog online that said you can wait until your oil light comes on to change your oil. I’ve worked in the automotive business… by the time your oil light comes on, the oil inside your engine has turned into jet black molasses and is of no use to your engine. In the short term, I suppose it’s not that important, but more frequent changes can actually double the life of
your car and greatly increase its performance.

5. Pressure Washing The Engine

I can respect a person’s desire to want a clean engine. It gets grimy under there and a guy with a pressure washer is a dangerous thing for grime - you want to point it at anything even slightly dirty. But a grimy engine that runs right is better than a clean engine that doesn’t run at all. And if you spray a high powered jet of water around rubber seals and hoses and electrical bits, you’re bound to dislodge something important. A modern engine is a complex thing, all manner of sensors and wiring harnesses and components, and it’s no place for a jet of high pressure water. A regular garden hose is OK if you want to wash it down, just be careful with the high pressure business.

6. Starting Your Car The Wrong Way

It seems simple, but you can make a big difference by turning off your radio, wipers, climate control, all of those accessories, when you start the car. Most of the wear on the engine happens when you start the car, and by turning off those accessories, your engine doesn’t have to work as hard when starting.

Another thing people do is revving the engine in the winter. This actually doesn’t help “warm up” the car. Although it does technically make the engine hotter, it’s not the kind of “warming up” that you want. Revving your engine in the winter causes extreme temperature changes right away, which is actually the opposite of what you want. When you start the car, the oil hasn’t yet worked its way through the system, so the engine is working without lubricant. The right way to do it is just let
the car sit and idle for about 30 seconds to a minute at the least.

7. Ignoring Your Car’s Sounds

Every sound your car makes means something, if you pay attention, your car can usually tell you exactly what needs fixing. Those squeaking brakes mean you need new pads, and if you ignore that sound, eventually you’ll hear scraping metal, which means you need new rotors, and if you ignore that, you’ll eventually hear the sound of your own scream as you lose your brakes completely and fly off a cliff in a spectacular fireball of death. It’s more common than you think. Listen to
your car.

8. Letting The Interior Go

You’re in a rush again, and you eat most of your disgusting egg and cheese bagel, and toss the rest in the wrapper on the passenger seat. Lovely. You know who you are, you’re car is filthy, never been vacuumed, 15 air fresheners hang on the mirror, and yet, no air freshener made by mortal man can stop the sickening wind within your car. You need to clean it. If you don’t vacuum your carpets and clean out the garbage every so often, you’ll develop a smell that is impossible to destroy. I’ve worked in the auto salvage business, and I know that there exist smells that are so obscene, so inhuman, that no shampoo can vanquish them. The only way to stop them is to never let them develop. Clean your car, for the sake of all mankind.

9. Running Your Car Down To Empty

There’s actually a bit of a debate about this one. The old wisdom says if your car gets down to E, the sediment in your tank will get sucked into the system and foul your fuel injectors. Although some mechanics says thats not true. Either way, running down to E does pose other problems. You cut the life of the fuel pump considerably, since the fuel actually cools the pump.

An interesting note: Most cars can drive another 60 miles+ after they hit Empty, automakers call this extra gas the “buffer zone”. US cars have the largest “buffer zone” of any vehicles. German drivers, for instance, like to know exactly how much gas in is the car, so their “buffer zone” between the gauge’s E and the actual empty tank is much smaller.

10. Driving Past Attractive Women

This is a common mistake, especially among younger male drivers. Attractive women can be incredibly damaging to your vehicle, they can cause the driver to install bizarre over-sized woofers or 22 inch rims, or even spontaneously crash
the car into a nearby tree or telephone pole. When you’re driving, be careful to avoid swimming pools, beaches, college campuses, anyplace where beautiful girls assemble in any significant numbers.


Your car will thank you.

i-n.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Strip Club Etiquette



1. NEVER, under any circumstances, request a dance from a stripper, EVER!!!
This rule is non-negotiable. I dont care how bad the bitch is, if she doesnt offer you a dance, then she dont want one, period. Asking makes you seem impatient at best, awestruck or desperate at worst, and it completely ruins any chance you may have of gettin over on her, so save the begging for the simps, old guys and white boys.

2. Do NOT make eye contact with any stripper who's on stage
While on the pole, (the non-superstar) strippers do one of a couple things, wish/pretend they were somewhere else, and scan the crowd to see which sap they can hit up for $$$ when they get off stage. If youre gonna gawk at the azz, do it while she's not looking. Unless you plan on throwin some cash at her, or getting a few dances when she's done, avoid locking eyes, and remember rule 1.

3.Try to make eye contact with the potential mark while she is talkin to other dudes But not while she is alone, she'll just walk up to you and start her hustle. And not while she's dancing for another dude either, she'll think youre trying to get a free peek, i.e. youre overly horny, broke, or both. Definite turnoffs for a stripper. But if you make eye contact while she's talkin to another dude, you dont come off as horny, and you can use that eye contact to your benefit. Ill get to that later on.

4. ALWAYS Reject the First Offer
This rule can be bent, but I wouldnt advise it, unless youre in a hurry, or at a spot where you know you wont be going back to for a while. When Diamond, or whoever offers you a dance, turn her down with a smile and a polite excuse. Make eye contact to drive your point home with sincerity. Make it an excuse that implies that but for some small technicality, you would LOVE to get alot of dances from her. The superstars/professionals will most likely keep it movin, but if your game is tight, the stars, mid level chicks, and newbies will see you as a potential victim that, with a little convincing, i.e. flirting, touching, grinding etc, can be convinced to give up the cash. If she stays to talk, she's most likely thinking she's about to go in for the kill, little does she know, she aint fuckin wit a rookie.

4. Get Her off balance
Whether its a doctor, a laywer, a stripper, or a nun, women cant resist an opportunity to run thier damn mouth. Strike up a conversation with your mark, get her talkin, and get her mind off of makin money. I admit, its tough, damn near impossible to do this with the true professionals, but only about 20-30% of the workin chicks fit into that category, so you'll spot the low hanging fruit pretty easily on most nights. Make her laugh, and feel comfortable, the two go hand in hand usually. Make fun of your job, it'll help if she's apprehensive about hers. A good number of the chicks in there, especially new ones, are uneasy about dancin naked, asking strangers for dances, etc. Get her to relax, and she'll stay there, making no money, for quite a long time. When you think about it, its no suprise that many strippers would rather shoot the breeze with a seemingly friendly guy than parade around naked, begging strangers for money.

5.Watch for "the hook"
Usually within a few songs of talkin, unaware that she's being hustled, the mark will try to hit you up again. Say no again, of course. But your game must be even tighter this time. If you can get her to sit for more than 3-5 songs, youre just about in there. At that point, its decision time, she can either call it quits and try her luck with another dude, stay there talkin, (makin it obvious that to all that she's makin no money), or throw "the hook", meaning start dancin for free, pretendin that she's workin to avoid embarassment, and trying even harder to make some money out of you in the process.

6.Throw the Counterpunch
Now that your mark is off balance, and no longer focused on makin money, you can go in for the kill. But youve gotta do it smoothly or it wont work. When she gets up to start dancin, you must ignore the urge to stare, grab, or reposition yourself in any way. Dont do anything that will make it seem as though youve changed your mind about gettin a dance. If you show your hand to quickly, she'll call your bluff and be expectin money, or worse, she'll realize she's been had and make a quick getaway before youve had time to enjoy the fruits of your hustle. With your body language suggesting that youre still not interested, playfully call her out for trying to entice you, accuse her of trying to hustle you, and let her know its not going to work. Tell her you thought she was cool, but to go find someone else to hustle, there are plenty of simps she can get paid by, and come back and talk to you when she's done playin games etc.

7.Set the Trap
If your hustle accusation is well timed and well said, it should work easily. Number one she's off her game at this point, and number two its true. Again, resist the urge to respond to any advance she makes. At that point, the money (she thought) she was just about to get is slippin through her hands, and she looks silly to boot. If she still doesnt leave and keeps dancing, that means she is goin all in. Youre holdin pocket Aces and gettin ready to clean her ass out.

8.Close the Deal
That she stays could mean a couple things, either she wants to convince you that she wasnt really tryin to hustle you (GTFOH). She really doesnt want to go back to reality, i.e. fold her hand, cut her losses, and move on to the next guy. Or if youre lucky, she's green, and genuinely intrigued. If she's new, its possible that no one has hustled her this way before, and she may still think she has the upper hand. In which case she'll place another bet, meaning she'll start giving you free dances, hoping you'll eventually change your mind and pay for some. Or failing that, she'll dance then try and hit you up as if you had agreed to pay, hoping you give in to avoid a scene. So when she starts dancing as if it were a real dance, removing clothers, bending over etc, tell her firmly that you dont want any dances, that she needs to go make some money, etc. Again she's either trying to prove that isnt a hustler, she's trying to avoid lookin like she wasted all that time and got no dances/money, or she'd rather stay there with you and be relaxed for no money than get maybe get paid to maybe dance with a stranger. Maybe a combination of the three. No matter her motive, at this point, youre in there. Just remember to renew your objections at some point during each song to confirm that she understands she's not going to be paid, and wink at your boyz to let em know youre the fuckin man.

9.Plan Your Getaway
All but the dumbest marks will tire of making no money after a few freebies. Now that she's danced a few songs, and at least made casual observers think she made some money, she'll feel comfortable about walking away. Congratulate her on finally making the right choice, and send her packin. If she doesnt stop on her own, the dances are good, and you want the hustle to work again the next time, make an excuse, and head for the bathroom, bar, or parking lot after no more than 4-5 songs. If she goes on stage later that night, shoot her a tip, and if she works up the nerve to ask for more dances, you'll have to give in and pay her for at least one or two, IF you want to hustle her again at a later date that is.

10.Last But Not Least
Strippers watch other strippers, regardless of what they say. They want to see who's shellin out cash, and who thier main competition is. This is especially true of the ones not makin money. They watch all the rest of the strippers like hawks, to pick up pointers, to hate, and to steal customers if need be. Rest assured other girls will notice what youre doin after a while. More often than not, at least one of the crew will get called out by a professional for pullin stunts. Good thing is, one stripper is hardly ever going to drop knowledge on another, so dont worry about anyone puttin you on blast. In fact, Ive noticed alot of the more seasoned ones tend to flock in our direction, why I dont know, we're obviously not shellin out cash. Probably curiosity, stripper B wants to know why stripper A would spend so much time with someone without making any $$$. Some strippers peep the hustle, see it work a few times, and assume that the dances are actually being paid for. This is good b/c they might come behind your last victim looking to cash in on what they think is the gravy train, and become your latest victim instead. There are good nights and bad nights, but more often than not I can go on the road and steal one from the home team, especially if theyre playin alot of rookies. In Miami, Coco's, Take One, Angels etc are great places to sharpen and use your game. Diamonds, not so much, there they have an all star team with lots of veteran leadership, so youve gotta be at the top of your game to come outta there with a win.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

25 things...



1. Refs have TOO much influence on the game.

2. Rooney made the right decision for taking Tomlin over Whisenhunt.

3. Congrats to Tomlin for being the youngest coach to win the Super Bowl and 2nd black coach to win the Super Bowl (Dungy).

4. Kurt Warner still isn't a Hall of Famer, just a stat machine with HOF players around him.

5. Cardinals running game was nowhere to be found as expected.

6. Cardinals have the best receiving core in the NFL.

7. Fitzgerald is the truth, but best in the game? He's top three.

8. Boldin gave up on the Harrison 100 yard return, not a good look.

9. Steelers defense has OBVIOUS holes.

10. Polamalu showed why he is the second best safety in the league (E.Reed)

11. Some of the unsportsmanlike penalties were bullshit.

12. Rodgers-Cromartie played great in the first half and not so great in the second half.

13. Wilson & Dockett are premiere defensive players.

14. Denny Green set up this team and got no recognition.

15. Big Ben proved why he is a top 5 (active) QB.

16. Ward is what an NFL player should be.

17. Santonio was amazing in college and it transferred to the NFL. Great game MVP.

18. The offensive line played like the offensive line we all know.

19. Just imagine if Mendenhall played.

20. Six NFL championships, greatest franchise ever.

21. The terrible towel holds power.

22. Will they repeat? NO.

23. The Cardinals won't even by .500 next year.

24. NFL needs to adjust the playoff system to the top SIX teams, fuck the divisions.

25. Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 2009!

i-n.